now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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