i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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