I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize