Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
