Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
