You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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