Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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