Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
