Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
