he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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