is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
