Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
