The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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