____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Randomize
