Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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