I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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