I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
