I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize