why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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