Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i was born a porn star she said
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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