The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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