community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
