Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
