the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
