On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
