you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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