Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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