You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
