He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
