I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
