good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
