Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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