She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
