I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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