how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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