so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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