Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I forget how to act sober
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