1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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