I hate all girls vehemently.
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Randomize
