The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
