My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Randomize
