Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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