Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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