Having a random hookup so left but love u
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
