Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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