I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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