So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Randomize
