My cat gives me a boner
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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