Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
why does every cop we meet know your name?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
