we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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