Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
