hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
My dick has a subreddit
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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