so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
