I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize