Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
