Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
