he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
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