is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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